is an excruciating feeling of abandonment. It almost seems unfathomable to move on and let go. How do we healthily detach, how do we become so attached in the first place?
Why is it we allow ourselves to trust without justification, simply because we “fall in love”. It sounds nice, doesn’t it? To “fall in love”, they don’t tell you how hard that face palm to the ground is, or the huge hole that burrows in your heart. They don’t tell you how irrational you become, how bizarre your insecurity grows. It’s devastating to depend on the words of your lovers.
We’ve been trained to think critically, to question everything, to look for answers and possibilities. When is enough ever enough? The truth is, humans will never be able to be satisfied. We’re eager to find more, to fulfill ourselves. Love is selfish as I said in a previous post, but the heartbreak is where the lesson lies. If you can get through the emotional turmoil. Most people do, some settle down in self destructive patterns, some never love again. Some people handle it in a positive way, can accept their flaws and those of others and see beyond.
I have trust issues. We all do. I’m realizing no one’s ever ready to be in a romantic relationship. When it happens, it happens, and we learn what we can from it.
I like to think there’s someone out there who can dalliance his way through my heart, amuse my soul, and support my every dream. That can make me laugh, and do all my expectations and more… BUT that person is myself. You want to be happy, look inside yourself, you want love, look inside yourself. Eventually you’ll radiate, and attract someone who reflects you, someone who complements you.
Until then, baby steps.
submurge into oblivion 